Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
