it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
