If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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