i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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