At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
