My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
