in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
