Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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