it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
as a side note pls kill me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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