they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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