So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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