i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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