I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
