i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
