Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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