she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
