I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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