:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
