WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
