By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
