We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bring me that man meat
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
