I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
