My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
