how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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