Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
