My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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