so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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