East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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