I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i dont even know how to be here
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
