Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
