Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
