I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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