I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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