Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
