it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
