Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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