I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
