Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
