Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
