yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
