Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Pappa wants mamma naked
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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