i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
