Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
