??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
