I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
