In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
