wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
