I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
