Jerry, you need to find god
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is wine microwaveable?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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