Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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